Welcome to the Bandwagon

I’ve never been one to jump onto new technology or new trends, and I’m not about to start now. Blogging has been around for probably most of my life by now, and although it had occurred to me to start one before, I didn’t think I had enough discipline or varied thoughts to warrant one. I probably still don’t.

But the time has come for me to have a regular creative outlet, and blogging is the way.

Please mind the doors, the bandwagon is now departing.

Expect: Cringing sentiment such as the above sentence, reviews and opinions, lots of repetition, multiple clunky pop-culture references, feeble attempts at humour (this phrase is an example of itself) and repetition (did it again).

Don’t expect: Ironic usage of the word ‘interwebs’ or any deliberate portmanteau of social media websites e.g. ‘MyFace’ or ‘TwitterGram’.

Political rants unless it’s something unavoidable like a General Election, or a David Icke-affirming example of a reptilian unmasking.

Pictures of cats doing things that humans generally do, thereby eliciting humour.

Since this is on the internet, which may very well live forever, my blog could be read in years, even decades by some sort of cybernetically enhanced robo-child with a loveable sidekick droid, on an internet search for the true meaning of love. Or just me in 15 years’ time, nostalgically rifling through my past, wondering what went wrong and laughing at the futility of thinking starting a blog would change whatever will happen to me in the intervening years.

 

Expect sentences that are too long.

 

But maybe one day I’ll look back at this blog and smile, pleased that I actually got off my arse (I’m sitting down as I write this), pulled my finger out and wrote something off my own back (too many different body parts for one metaphor). Maybe I’ll smile because it did change something for me. Or maybe, just maybe, time travel will have been invented, and I can bring back all the blogs I’ll ever write, and give them to me in the present, so I never actually have to write them.

 

Expect nonsense.

 

Either way, if anyone’s reading this, I’ll do my best to keep posting stuff. Just do your best to keep reading, no matter how self-indulgent, rambling, or saccharine it gets.

 

The Bandwagon is now arriving at your next station – Overly Extended Metaphor Central.

 

Expect clumsy framing devices.